Wandering Thoughts

January 17, 2009

Not Bullet Proof

Filed under: Aortic Valves — terence @ 10:06 am

Prior to surgery I was lucky enough to have the chance to speak to a couple of people who had been through similar procedures. One of them, a lecturer I knew through work, said something that didn’t really make sense at the time:

Some people suffer from depression after surgery. I didn’t, but it was hard not to feel somewhat shaken up. You realise that you’re not bulletproof after all

‘Not bulletproof?’ I thought. ‘No worries about that. I’m two weeks away from open heart surgery. I’m aware how mortal I am’.

I understand what he meant now, though.

If I stop to think about what happened to me while I was under the anesthetic, and how much I rely on the tiny piece of ticking titanium, the Dacron sheath above it and the warfarin, I feel very very shaky and fragile about it all.

I’ve never felt bullet-proof but I am so much more aware now, I think, of all the bullets that have to be dodged in my quest to stay well.

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