Wandering Thoughts

May 3, 2010


Filed under: Aortic Valves — terence @ 3:34 pm

“Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.”

Years ago, in a new-age book, I read that quote. Like a lot of what I read in new age books, it sounded profound but never really made sense.

Now it sort of does, although I can’t imagine my understanding is the same as the author’s. I’ve written about my post-perfusion confusion before. Deja vu, dreams recalled, memory loss, and a feeling I could never describe other than to say it was unpleasant. The good news then was that the episodes were slowly becoming less frequent. By the time I finished work in February they’d almost stopped, I was untroubled by them as we prepared to move. And deeply relieved to be untroubled.

But no – on arrival in Australia they returned. On a frequency of one sometimes two a day.  I have no idea why they’re back, but they’re back. Slightly different, maybe milder, and as unpleasant as ever.

Anyhow, there’s nothing much to be said of this, other than that the quote at the beginning of this post makes sense to me now, in a personalised way. Having the recollection of dreams, or other things that never happened, exist in in the place of my memories is disturbing. Threatening. And absolutely unconducive to the peace of anything.

I really, really hope the episodes go away.


  1. I have just read your piece from Jan 21 2009 and was surprised, even though its comments are entirely familiar, because although this type of episode has been mentioned to medical practitioners it has never been satifactorily explained or even understood.
    It happens in phases lasting a few days but, as yoy say, it is very disconcerting and somewhat distressing. At various times it gives the impression that its origin may be linked to fatigue (especially if coinciding with symptoms of a common cold), or even coincidentally to the intake of caffiene. If there is a common factor this may be the fact that a heart valve has been replaced and this affects (occasionally) the flow of blood to the brain.
    If you have found out anything else that you think would shed further light on this oddity please email me directly.

    Comment by Gordon — August 13, 2013 @ 8:41 am

  2. Thanks Gordon. I don’t know anything else. Indeed I was unaware that any other post valve replacement patients other than I suffered from it. If you know any more please let me know.

    Thanks for your comment.


    Comment by terence — August 13, 2013 @ 9:35 am

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